These were "reminded to me" by cousin Susan. I decided to start collecting them, and other gems by the late, great Uncle Eagle (Don) here in my blog. For those of you who never met Uncle Eagle, he was an artist, a scientist, a wordsmith, a comedian . . . a genius.
Poems and limericks
Cowboy Tom, with much aplomb
went to bed with his spurs on.
When his mother catches him,
he’ll wish those spurs had never been!
-----
The monster from the briny deep
might eat you while you're still asleep!
That crazy creature never sleeps,
That crazy creature always creeps!
. . . stay tuned . . .
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Grammar Policing is fun!
An exchange of posts from Yahoo today about the Perseid Meteor Shower.
I have to admit, I took the discussion way off topic, but it was amusing . . . for me.
Read the Perseid Meteor article on Yahoo
It all started with this:
Blah : I seen three satellites and one meteor early this morning.
Scott : I SAW three satellites and one meteor early this morning. It's called the english language. Learn it.
Joshua A : Scott, before I even looked at your reply I thought the exact same thing, LOL!!
Justin : Saw** or I have seen**
Phyl : Don't you just love the linguistic experts?? They really need to get a life!
WiseOne : Hillbilly grammer 'seen' them, grade school education 'saw' them...
Zack : Why don't these linguistic experts go teach their English class instead of lecturing people...
Knotboy : Zack, your post implies that all "linguistics experts" here teach the same class.
In fact, "classes" would be the correct word form here.
Additionally, your statement is complete, and you're posing a question, so a question mark rather than an ellipsis is the better ending punctuation.
"Why don't these linguistic experts go teach their English classes instead of lecturing people?"
Furthermore, Phyl and Zack, "linguistic experts" is presumptuous. Clearly Scott, Joshua and Justin have a better understanding of grammar than does Blah, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are linguistic experts. Linguistics covers a broad range of language disciplines, including, but not limited to structure (grammar), meaning and evolution.
Clara J : usually, if you say i seen...youre from the north...minnesota or north dakota.
Knotboy : Clara, Clara, Clara — where do I begin?
Capitalization is needed on "U", "I", "N" "M" "N" & "D"
Like so:
"Usually, if you say I seen...youre from the North...Minnesota or North Dakota."
"North" is a tricky one.
Capitalize north, south, east, west, and derivative words when they designate definite regions or are an integral part of a proper name, so in this case, capitalization is correct.
Also, it's "you're" with an apostrophe, not "youre"
The word "you're" is a contraction of the words "you" and "are", where the apostrophe is a placeholder for the absent "a".
"I seen" needs quotes, since it is spoken.
So now we have:
Usually, if you say "I seen"...you're from the North...Minnesota or North Dakota.
Again, as in Zack's post, the ellipsis is, perhaps, misused. Here you use it as a pause on either side of "youre from the north", where a pause longer than one indicated by a comma is unnecessary. An ellipsis indicates a longer pause, a missing word or an incomplete or trailing thought. Technically, the first ellipsis could be left in, if you want to imply a longer pause there, for effect.
If, however, you are specifying Minnesota and North Dakota as the particular states in the North where "I seen" is the vernacular, then an em dash, rather than an ellipsis, would be more appropriate.
So, finally, we end up with:
Usually, if you say "I seen", you're from the North — Minnesota or North Dakota.
Hmmm, I wonder if Clara wants to slap me for being such a . . .
Paul : grammar police out...get fn real your probably a know it all like sarah palin...(who knows nothing)..get over yourselves
Knotboy : Aw, c'mon, Paul, I was just rattling cages... and having some fun doing so. I intentionally made my posts waaaaay more involved and know-it-all-y than necessary, just to see who'd yell back at me.
On the other hand, where's the harm in trying to educate people who were evidently asleep all during English class -- for 12 years? If a person is spoon-fed by example, correct spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc., and they still choose to ignore it, and go on posting as if they quit school after 2nd grade, well, Paul, that's just lazy.
If a person has a choice between looking ignorant or looking educated, and they choose to look ignorant, well, Paul, that's just . . . ignorant. (note the correct use of the ellipsis).
Knotboy : In my first post, by saying "...'linguistics experts' is presumptuous" I am personifying "linguistics experts", which was not my intention. What I should have said is " . . . referring to grammar police as 'linguistics experts' is presumptuous."
In my second post, I use the word "looking" where "being" really is more accurate. If a person learns something new, they are educated about it, and not simply appearing to be educated, as the word "looking" implies.
See that . . . I policed myself!
On the other hand, if a person actually is educated, and is perfectly capable of using correct grammar, etc, but chooses not to, then the ignorance is apparent, not actual — so they do "look" ignorant, when in fact, they are not.
See! It's fun!
I have to admit, I took the discussion way off topic, but it was amusing . . . for me.
Read the Perseid Meteor article on Yahoo
(My screen name is Knotboy)
It all started with this:
Blah : I seen three satellites and one meteor early this morning.
Scott : I SAW three satellites and one meteor early this morning. It's called the english language. Learn it.
Joshua A : Scott, before I even looked at your reply I thought the exact same thing, LOL!!
Justin : Saw** or I have seen**
Phyl : Don't you just love the linguistic experts?? They really need to get a life!
WiseOne : Hillbilly grammer 'seen' them, grade school education 'saw' them...
Zack : Why don't these linguistic experts go teach their English class instead of lecturing people...
Knotboy : Zack, your post implies that all "linguistics experts" here teach the same class.
In fact, "classes" would be the correct word form here.
Additionally, your statement is complete, and you're posing a question, so a question mark rather than an ellipsis is the better ending punctuation.
"Why don't these linguistic experts go teach their English classes instead of lecturing people?"
Furthermore, Phyl and Zack, "linguistic experts" is presumptuous. Clearly Scott, Joshua and Justin have a better understanding of grammar than does Blah, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are linguistic experts. Linguistics covers a broad range of language disciplines, including, but not limited to structure (grammar), meaning and evolution.
Clara J : usually, if you say i seen...youre from the north...minnesota or north dakota.
Knotboy : Clara, Clara, Clara — where do I begin?
Capitalization is needed on "U", "I", "N" "M" "N" & "D"
Like so:
"Usually, if you say I seen...youre from the North...Minnesota or North Dakota."
"North" is a tricky one.
Capitalize north, south, east, west, and derivative words when they designate definite regions or are an integral part of a proper name, so in this case, capitalization is correct.
Also, it's "you're" with an apostrophe, not "youre"
The word "you're" is a contraction of the words "you" and "are", where the apostrophe is a placeholder for the absent "a".
"I seen" needs quotes, since it is spoken.
So now we have:
Usually, if you say "I seen"...you're from the North...Minnesota or North Dakota.
Again, as in Zack's post, the ellipsis is, perhaps, misused. Here you use it as a pause on either side of "youre from the north", where a pause longer than one indicated by a comma is unnecessary. An ellipsis indicates a longer pause, a missing word or an incomplete or trailing thought. Technically, the first ellipsis could be left in, if you want to imply a longer pause there, for effect.
If, however, you are specifying Minnesota and North Dakota as the particular states in the North where "I seen" is the vernacular, then an em dash, rather than an ellipsis, would be more appropriate.
So, finally, we end up with:
Usually, if you say "I seen", you're from the North — Minnesota or North Dakota.
Hmmm, I wonder if Clara wants to slap me for being such a . . .
Paul : grammar police out...get fn real your probably a know it all like sarah palin...(who knows nothing)..get over yourselves
Knotboy : Aw, c'mon, Paul, I was just rattling cages... and having some fun doing so. I intentionally made my posts waaaaay more involved and know-it-all-y than necessary, just to see who'd yell back at me.
On the other hand, where's the harm in trying to educate people who were evidently asleep all during English class -- for 12 years? If a person is spoon-fed by example, correct spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc., and they still choose to ignore it, and go on posting as if they quit school after 2nd grade, well, Paul, that's just lazy.
If a person has a choice between looking ignorant or looking educated, and they choose to look ignorant, well, Paul, that's just . . . ignorant. (note the correct use of the ellipsis).
Knotboy : In my first post, by saying "...'linguistics experts' is presumptuous" I am personifying "linguistics experts", which was not my intention. What I should have said is " . . . referring to grammar police as 'linguistics experts' is presumptuous."
In my second post, I use the word "looking" where "being" really is more accurate. If a person learns something new, they are educated about it, and not simply appearing to be educated, as the word "looking" implies.
See that . . . I policed myself!
On the other hand, if a person actually is educated, and is perfectly capable of using correct grammar, etc, but chooses not to, then the ignorance is apparent, not actual — so they do "look" ignorant, when in fact, they are not.
See! It's fun!
Friday, July 22, 2011
My New Website is Up and Running!
After way too long, I've finally revamped my website from the ground up. It's more streamlined, and much easier to update and navigate.
Check it out at: www.jerryrussell.com
Check it out at: www.jerryrussell.com
Sunday, February 20, 2011
A chat with Adobe Live Customer Assistance
Please hold as we route your chat to an Adobe Representative.
Welcome to Adobe.com! My name is Vallen. May I assist you with your selection today?
Vallen: Hello, how can I help you?
Jerry: Hi. I already own CS5 Design Premium for my Mac. Is there any price break if I buy it for my Windows Laptop?
Vallen: Let me check that for you.
Jerry: Thanks.
Vallen: To make sure that you get the right software, what tasks you'd like to accomplish using the software?
Jerry: ???
Vallen: Alright.
Vallen: Thank you for staying online with me. I appreciate your patience.
Vallen: You can buy the CS5 Design Premium with 10 % discount.
Jerry: Hmmm. So, my Mac upgrade from CS3 was $799, but to buy it for my Windows Laptop, because it won't run on my G5, it'll cost $1,710?
Jerry: It would be better if, since I already paid for CS5 for my Mac, that I could get an upgrade price of $599 for the Windows version, as if I was upgrading from Mac to Mac, rather than from Mac to Windows.
Vallen: Yes, CS5 is not compatible with G5.
Jerry: I know, which is why, If I want to work at home, I need to install CS5 on my laptop, because I can't install it on my G5. I have an Intel Mac at my office running CS5.
Vallen: Yes, you can install 1 copy of software on 2 computers with same platform (Windows or Mac) but can't use at the same time.
Jerry: Yes. I have an Intel Mac at my office and an Intel PC and a G5 in my home office, so you can see my dilemma.
Vallen: I am afraid, you can't on both Mac and Windows platform.
Jerry: Strata allows you to download versions for Mac AND PC with your purchase of Strata Studio Pro. I think that's good policy.
Jerry: Adobe took back the graphics community from Quark, because Quark got greedy.
Jerry: Now Quark is on the chopping block. I switched to InDesign several years ago, after being a die hard Quark fan for 15 years.
Vallen: I am afraid, as per Adobe End User License Agreement, you can install on Mac and Windows platform.
Jerry: Just saying, maybe Adobe shouldn't make it necessary for people like me - self employed - to shell out full price for 2 copies of the software.
I already own a laptop that will run CS5, but I either have to pay full price for CS5 Windows, or buy another Intel Mac.
Vallen: You need to buy the another copy for Mac.
Jerry: Just saying. Pass it along to someone in the decision making pool. I've been an Adobe customer for 25 years.
Vallen: Jerry, we have 10% discount.
Jerry: Yes you do. 10% isn't much. That's still $1,710.
Jerry: Gotta go. Thanks for the assistance. . .
Vallen: The full version of Creative Suite 5 Design Premium is priced at US $1,899.
Jerry: Minus 10% = $1,710.
Vallen: Yes, Jerry.
Jerry: Plus the $799 for my Mac copy = $2,509 to run CS5 on 2 computers.
Vallen: No, you'll get 10 % discount of upgrade as well.
Jerry: No. I already upgraded. I already own CS5 for MAC.
Jerry: I have to go. this isn't accomplishing anything. If you passed this conversation along to the CEO of Adobe, maybe it would help.
Jerry: Just a caution, Vallen. Adobe owns the graphics industry . . . for now. At one point, Quark did, until they forgot who put them on top.
Vallen: Okay.
Welcome to Adobe.com! My name is Vallen. May I assist you with your selection today?
Vallen: Hello, how can I help you?
Jerry: Hi. I already own CS5 Design Premium for my Mac. Is there any price break if I buy it for my Windows Laptop?
Vallen: Let me check that for you.
Jerry: Thanks.
Vallen: To make sure that you get the right software, what tasks you'd like to accomplish using the software?
Jerry: ???
Vallen: Alright.
Vallen: Thank you for staying online with me. I appreciate your patience.
Vallen: You can buy the CS5 Design Premium with 10 % discount.
Jerry: Hmmm. So, my Mac upgrade from CS3 was $799, but to buy it for my Windows Laptop, because it won't run on my G5, it'll cost $1,710?
Jerry: It would be better if, since I already paid for CS5 for my Mac, that I could get an upgrade price of $599 for the Windows version, as if I was upgrading from Mac to Mac, rather than from Mac to Windows.
Vallen: Yes, CS5 is not compatible with G5.
Jerry: I know, which is why, If I want to work at home, I need to install CS5 on my laptop, because I can't install it on my G5. I have an Intel Mac at my office running CS5.
Vallen: Yes, you can install 1 copy of software on 2 computers with same platform (Windows or Mac) but can't use at the same time.
Jerry: Yes. I have an Intel Mac at my office and an Intel PC and a G5 in my home office, so you can see my dilemma.
Vallen: I am afraid, you can't on both Mac and Windows platform.
Jerry: Strata allows you to download versions for Mac AND PC with your purchase of Strata Studio Pro. I think that's good policy.
Jerry: Adobe took back the graphics community from Quark, because Quark got greedy.
Jerry: Now Quark is on the chopping block. I switched to InDesign several years ago, after being a die hard Quark fan for 15 years.
Vallen: I am afraid, as per Adobe End User License Agreement, you can install on Mac and Windows platform.
Jerry: Just saying, maybe Adobe shouldn't make it necessary for people like me - self employed - to shell out full price for 2 copies of the software.
I already own a laptop that will run CS5, but I either have to pay full price for CS5 Windows, or buy another Intel Mac.
Vallen: You need to buy the another copy for Mac.
Jerry: Just saying. Pass it along to someone in the decision making pool. I've been an Adobe customer for 25 years.
Vallen: Jerry, we have 10% discount.
Jerry: Yes you do. 10% isn't much. That's still $1,710.
Jerry: Gotta go. Thanks for the assistance. . .
Vallen: The full version of Creative Suite 5 Design Premium is priced at US $1,899.
Jerry: Minus 10% = $1,710.
Vallen: Yes, Jerry.
Jerry: Plus the $799 for my Mac copy = $2,509 to run CS5 on 2 computers.
Vallen: No, you'll get 10 % discount of upgrade as well.
Jerry: No. I already upgraded. I already own CS5 for MAC.
Jerry: I have to go. this isn't accomplishing anything. If you passed this conversation along to the CEO of Adobe, maybe it would help.
Jerry: Just a caution, Vallen. Adobe owns the graphics industry . . . for now. At one point, Quark did, until they forgot who put them on top.
Vallen: Okay.
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